Dirt is Calling

Long winded BS below...

As evidenced by the lack of my entries here, things have been basically non existent in my adventure life. I've tried my best to keep some kind of fitness by doing road rides and hiking, but there isn't much that can replicate MTB fitness. Not that I was ever the fittest, but I did OK.

While there are many reasons for my lack of MTB adventure, the bottom line is that I need to start to release some junk in my life and also reclaim one of the things that makes me happy. And if there is one thing I have begun to learn is that you have to make YOURSELF happy. You can't rely on others to do that for you. If you rely on someone else for your happiness, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Anyway, as October came, I realized I need to break out of this funk - I kinda made a half-hearted promise back in April at Parker Canyon Lake that I would be lining up for the 2019 running of the AZTR300. Oh, and a little bikepacking trip was on the calendar for the first weekend of November. Guess I better try to gain a lot of fitness in 2/3 weeks... OOPS.

I decided to revisit a route I last did in August of 2017. Which is crazy because I used to ride Sonoran at least once a week if not more in prep of the 2017 AZTR. Why is that significant? That last time I rode this route was on a Friday night. There were monsoon storms all around the perimeter of the valley, but nothing was threatening. I rode as a way to escape my reality at the time. A marriage that had basically fallen apart - it was over before I had a chance to save it really. I tried to save it I guess in a way similar to how an adventurer might try to fight off a bear or other apex predator. But the final and very unexpected blows I received were just too much and in essence I kinda gave up and hoped to die... literally. In this case, the bear had the final say and I was at its mercy...

Here in the desert this time of year, the sun fades fast... Is the sunset the end of the day, or just the beginning???

The last warm rays of the sun

As I rode this very familiar section of trail, it was like meeting an old friend. It started with a friendly kick to the nuts of course, climbing up from the Desert Vista TH. Of my God am I out of shape. Flow was hard to find - too much road biking has really impacted my ability to ride on dirt. Hopefully that comes back quick enough.

I always think I can capture the moon with my phone, but it never comes out great. 

As I rode, I was surprised with how much I remembered the trail. No big surprises even though there has been a pretty big monsoon season which has changed other trails dramatically. There is one cactus that I always think is a rider as the trail works around a curve. It was still there and I still thought it was another trail user. Haha. Nothing much to note here difference wise, other than a fence built in the middle of the flats between Sonoran South and Sonoran North. Weird.

On the flats between N/S Sonoran

I was feeling OK, but I really just had zero power in the legs. I got to the Apache Wash TH and decided to just call it and get home. I have to admit that I got a bit emotional here... the last time I was here over a year ago I sat at one of the tables in the dark and cried. I mourned the loss of my wife and marriage and an intact family. I yelled to the surrounding desert why I had to go through this. I didn't understand, and I still don't really. 

But I have to believe that it was for a reason. It's funny, that was just the beginning of a crazy time. Losing my wife, then a melanoma diagnosis for me. Then a few months after that and being cleared of it, my father died of his melanoma. I guess they didn't get it all 7 years ago... 

Anyway back to the ride...

Even though the south side of that system has no big climbs if you stay on it, I still bailed off to the cement bike path. I had had enough and I was getting cold haha. AZ native here...

Last bit of dirt before escaping to the cement path. 

Of course I still had to get home which was still about 14 miles away on primarily dirt but at least mostly flat. I'm glad I got out there. I'm going to be getting out a lot more. The pain, the beauty, the solitude. And maybe most importantly, the good people that I have met while doing it. While I rarely ride with others, when I do - it feels significant. 

I'm really looking forward to reclaiming my happiness over the next six months and beyond. Time is short. 

Dirt is calling in a couple of ways. One is adventure. The other is death. One is certainly inevitable. The other is a choice we get to make.